It has recently been brought to my attention that my profile has been lacking. Actually, in reality a lot of f*@^ers IMed me and said something to the effect of, "Your profile called....it said 'update me!'" But never fear, people with no lives who read my profile, I have come to the rescue, and updated it for the masses. You're so lucky.

Love,
Adam

The Bryce Times

Welcome to my newspaper. From now on, you will live your life by this newspaper. Whether or not I ever update it is besides the point. You shall live your life by it anyways. Enjoy it. It's all you've got.

Top Story

March 22, 2005
BLACK TIME
That was a pretty lame last entry. I'm sorry. It was uncultured, it was sad, and it was dumb. I don't know what got into me. I apologize for leaving it up for so long. This time, I will make sure to leave up a much better entry, and you can't stop me. This is a collection of poems from a book Jared and I found in Mr. Cook's room. The book is called The Black Poets and it's edited by Dudley Randall, for fans of his. This first poem is a nice little introduction to the way black people write poems. It's supposed to be called "love Child--a black aesthetic" but I call it "beauty."
sweet baked apple dappled cinnamon speckled sin of mine/nutmeg freckled peach brandy and amber wine woman WOW/with your piping hot and finger popping black african pepper pot not stopping steaming coffee flowing creaming/the brown sugar growing cane candy coming cocoa going crazy 'bout brown sugar teases GOOD GOD and pleases SWEET/JESUS that honey stained soul trained slow molasses and GODDAMN candied yam and sweet potato pie thighs and sweet raisin tipped coconut tits raising cane sugar/stone brown sugar bowl belly to the bone to the bone//in in rhythm with life rhythms without metronomes dance...we love screaming and curdled creaming cradled in crisis/of our now we love now we love now my love now my love now my love/love me now my love my love My Love NOW!!...
I for one think that's amazing. Being an artist is so hard, and I think that kind of shows what it's like. This is an excerpt from a poem called "The Third Sermon on the Warpland" by some black person.
A woman is dead. Motherwoman
And for your final cultural field-trip today, I'm going to type some excerpts from a poem called "The Nigga Section."
slimy obscene creatures. insane/creations of a beast. you/have murdered a man. you/have devoured me. you/have done it with precision/like the way you stand green/in the dark sucking pus/and slicing your penis/into quarters-stuffing/shit through your noses./you rotten motherfuckin bastards/murder yourselves again and again/and call it life, you have made/your black mother to spread/her legs     wide/you have crawled in mucus/smeared snot in your hair/let machines crawl up your cock/rammed your penis into garbage disposals/spread your gigantic ass from/one end of america to the other/and peeped from under your legs/and grinned a gigantic white grin and called all the beasts/to fuck you hard in the ass/you have fucked your fat black mothers...you konk-haired blood suckin punk...slimy cockroaches crawling to your/holes...
I don't know what it does to you guys, but that brings a tear to my eyes. I was moved by it. And there are no spelling mistakes. Sometimes the authors skipped two lines or capitalized words for no reason. That's art. Goodnight.

February 22, 2005
R.I.P.
We have all lost something near and dear to us recently, and I am not one to disagree. You see, the band Hours till Awesome (R.I.P.), as I have said, is something of the past. Sometimes I just don't know how to get by. Sometimes I go to the HTA (R.I.P.) store and look at all the sweet merchandise we used to market. "Aaaah, now nobody will ever own another Bryce Thong, or Tim Postcard (pack of 8)..." and I sigh, as I look out the window as the beautiful landscape is covered with god damn rainy storms which make all the grass muddy and rat-infested. Sucks.
Anyway, while I'm trying to cope with this loss, along comes something else. Hunter S. Thompson (R.I.P.), yes THE author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas passed away two days ago. He (R.I.P.) was misusing substances, as he always has (that little rascal) and his (R.I.P.) mind got the better of him, causing him to shoot himself. But sometimes I think, what would've happened...would he (R.I.P.) still be alive...had it not been for those drugs. Then I cry...and I cry..................................and I cry................and I cry-y-y.....I can't get no....but I try to think of the happier times I had with him (R.I.P.). Like that time he (R.I.P.) wrote that book...Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas...or that time he (R.I.P.) ran for sheriff of Aspen, and promised to rename the city "Fat Aspen"...and shaved his (R.I.P.) head, so he (R.I.P.) could call his (R.I.P.) opponent "my long-haired opponent"...or that time he (R.I.P.) tried to spray-paint "F*** the Pope!" on someone's yacht...oh man...those were the good old days. Greg R. and I were just thinking about that earlier today, and we laughed, but we were both suffering inside. You could see the pain in our eyes, though it was covered by the forced smiles of our laughter.
I was sitting here crying in the dark, performing a candlelight vigil in Hunter's (R.I.P.) honor, when my phone starts ringing. I was awoken from a daze, and after what seemed like hours, I composed myself enough to pick up the phone and say hello. It was my good old friend Tim, Hours Till Awesome (R.I.P.) bassist-extraordinaire. I could hear the depressed tones of his voice as he entered into pleasant discourse with me, about such things as monkeys, fun-houses, and Elvis (R.I.P.).
We got into a pretty deep discussion about how there are some people in history that create landmarks; people who take risks to invent new styles, help people in trouble, and make the world a better place. These people are all around us, in the form of parents, doctors, scientists, gynecologists, fags (R.I.P.), and musicians. Then, metaphorically speaking that is, Tim hit me with a two ton sack of Jabba the Hut (R.I.P.) replicas...and it hurt me deep inside, you don't even know man. I will never forget the words he said to me when he told me how the greatest band of all time (R.I.P.), one (R.I.P.) who had written the most inspirational music I have had the honor of hearing ever in my life in my ear-holes, had decided to call it quits. The music this group (R.I.P.) produced got me through some tough times, and when I closed my eyes, I could feel when they (R.I.P.) were happy, when they (R.I.P.) were sad, and their (R.I.P.) music spoke to me, giving me emotions I had never before felt myself. But, as I said, I will never forget the words Tim said to me. "blink is no more..." he said, as his voice cracked, and I could hear the tears come streaming down his face. "No!" I said in utter horror, "No this can't be true!"
I ran away from the phone, tear ducts open, and I felt pretty weak in the legs after that. I collapsed against a wall, wailing with pain, wondering why God would let something like this happen. At first, I didn't know what to believe. Maybe Tim had heard wrong, or maybe he meant "Pink is no more"...which would be alright. After a while, when my face was good and red and my eyes were really puffy, I decided that's what he said. But I now realize that I had a baaaad case of denial. I went to the internet, and sure enough, Blink 182 (R.I.P.) had gone on indefinite hiatus.
Why God?
Why would you take this band (R.I.P.) away from me, a band (R.I.P.) who has produced such lyrical masterpieces as "Sometimes I don't feel_the same way as you feel..." and "turn the lights off, carry me home_Na, na, na, na...."
Right now I am so utterly and depressingly alone in the world, I don't know where to turn. My faith has been questioned, have no doubt, and I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
But wait...what's this?! :D !!!!! South Park Season Five????? THERE IS A GOD! TIMMY BE THY NAME! THANK YOU GOD! I WILL NEVER DOUBT YOU AGAIN!! Oooooooooh it's so glorious!!! So many episodes! Mini-commentaries by the creators?? SAY NO MORE!!! Oooooooooh it feels so good all over my body! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess!!!!
I can't even remember what I was sad about before! Hunter S. Thompson?? Who cares! He was whacko! Didn't you see that movie??? Blink-182??? Did you even hear the new CD? OOOOh man, things are really turning around...

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...
I can see all obstacles in my way...

Thanks again God, and I'm sure it's gonna be a bright, bright, sun-shiny day! ;D

February 19, 2005
HEETER DEETER-DEETER
Hours Till Awesome died as you may know, and it has spawned a new group which is confused and dysfunctional. James, Max, Luke, and I had a practice today, and Cris tagged along. I'm not sure if that's how to spell her name, maybe it has two s's. And yes, Luke's band has Jim Carrey's daughter as a lead singer. Not jking. Truthing. Anyway, we don't have a bassist lined up right now, and James doesn't tell us anything in advance, so next weekend we'll probably have a show or something. Blood Gnome.
I went to Comedy Sportz for the first time ever last night. It was pretty funny, but only the other team was funny. Pretty much. They did some really good things. Our teams weren't so good cuz...I dunno why. But I hear that Zach Hillman and Brandon Norris are really funny, and they didn't do anything last night, so I'm gonna go back until I laugh more at my own team.
Frances the Mute is awesome. Especially the song, but the album too. Blood Gnome.

Human Popsicle
I am lying in the snow.
Nature kicked my ass.

That is my haiku about Jack London's To Build a Fire. Moving on, Blood Gnome.
It is over between me and Robyn. Just so you know.
The paper came out yesterday, and that's about all that's happened lately. I'm still excited for new Hat and Tractor, but nothing ever seems to be happening. Hopefully soon we'll get our s&#$ together, but who knows. Blood Gnome.
It was my brother's birthday a few days ago, and we had his party today, and it was pretty cool. He got a lot of money to Target, and South Park Season Two. Season Five comes out in a few days, and I'm so pumped. Blood Gnome.
Ian burned me Aqualung, and it's soooo good. If anyone can play flute like that, I will marry them. I propose a Jethro Tull coverband, and we'll just play "Locomotive Breath" over and over again. That would be the tats.
I saw "Grease" tonight at that Performing Arts place. I've never seen Grease before. It was good. Blood Gnome.
I'm definitely going to bed a lot right now.

February 5, 2005
KING OF THE BADGER-PEOPLE
Tonight there was sweet things abroad. Me and Jared and Palmer and my bro watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre which was not as good as I expected, and before that I went with Jared to a going away party for Sara Katz who I shall miss, and things like that. Anyways, a lot can happen in a month and a day, and I shall prove it by trying to explain some of the things. The first thing is that I got Moxi, Adelphia's Tivo. I set it to record South Park, America's Funniest Home Videos (Bob Saget is in 'em - yes!) and I used to have it record Eat Bulaga but it was too boring. Eat Bulaga is a Korean show that speaks a mix of every language and gives away Pesos. Many questions are about American Pop Culture. Randomly asian cheerleaders with fat legs dance for 20 minutes straight. Sweet.
Anyways, Hat and Tractor keeps on recording but nothing ever gets more done. We are going to try to get our stuff from Mike because he is busy with college. Hopefully we will come out with a full album so we can concentrate on Stewart. Anyways, more from the Falcon music scene: Hours till Awesome is dead. James Larsen unexpectedly got a record producer named Augie and kicked out Tim and Glenn and then got two members from a band (the Soy) to play drums and bass, and Max Bay as guitarist. So far, Bryce doesn't know what to do, but just for the sake of music he will keep playing. But for the sake of friendship, he is dead inside.
The Mars Volta are coming out with Frances the Mute, and it's gonna rock so hard. I'm writing a story about it for La Vista hip hooray. Buzkashi too. Oodalolly. Anyways, I'm really tired.
Me and Robyn are dating.
Okay, I've mentioned all the things I meant to mention I believe. But I have all these links left over, so I think I'll just...paste them all.

Vulgar Essay about Oedipus (A Must Read!)
Andrew Jackson in Specs (Courtesy Ian, but not funny)
Funny looking people (The whole ansaman website rocks)
The Devil and Daniel Webster (Ian again. Again not funny)
What do you want me to say?

January 4, 2005
I LOVE
Thelma: "In science, does the sea, you know, the ocean, menstruate like a woman?"
Bryce: "You mean, does it shed the lining of its uterus?"
Thelma: "Yes."
Bryce: "Ummm...the ocean's not alive. So I don't think it menstruates."
Thelma: "No, I mean, does it clean itself the way a woman cleans herself?"
Bryce: "I don't know..."
Thelma: "Can you ask your teacher tomorrow? I need to know if I'm wrong."
Bryce: "Sure."

Grammar and spelling edited by Bryce. Content by Thelma and Bryce on the awkward ride home.
You should have heard her say "menstruate."

January 2, 2005
TWO THOUSAND FIVE
I can't wait to go back to school. I miss it sooo much that I've been telling myself, "If I have to wait any longer, I'm not going to be able to make it!" Wow, looking back on it, that just sounds completely silly. But just thinking about how close I am to being able to learn new things and smell the whiteboard and eat pb&j's everyday gives me the shivers something wonderful! I know a bunch of you are overly excited just like me, so here's a little something I made to calm you down:

I miss school an awful lot
'Cuz Christmas Break delayed it
But I can't stay mad at Christmas Break;
My savior Jesus made it!

And for those of you dreading school, tsk tsk! Shame on you! Hopefully just reading this makes you as happy as I am about school. Also, at first when I found out that the images I uploaded and linked to from here were gone, I was sort of upset and disturbed. But then I realized that it's probably a good thing. The Lord works in mysterious ways! My life was not meant to be spent at the computer photoshopping images and putting them in this little internet-based oasis! Now I have much more time for other things like dancing and making macaroni necklaces. What fun! :-)
Let me inform you of all the wondrous things that have happened since my last update! The show at Sam's mentioned before turned out very successfully! Many fun children came, and every band was wonderful. The Falconers played a show to cap off their Japan tour, and I think they have a beyond earthly singer, an intriguing handmaiden of a bassist, and a guitar player with adventure written all over him. The Noise played a good show, but it was lacking Garrett and not the same. Then, the band I am in, Hours Till Awesome, played for a bit. As far as I remember it, the show was great and I didn't miss any soloes or upset any band members. According to the tabloids, James himself is becoming a great R&B singer with someone named Augie (pronounced "stoo-art") and he may sign our band if he likes what he hears at our next practice. I'm giddy with anticipation!
I will skip the holidays, but first say that I got a very nice keyboard that sounds much like a grand piano! Oh boy, I bet even Beethoven would be fooled by this puppy! (get it?) (only smart people would understand) (he was deaf later) It also makes noises like a symphony, a guitar, a harpsichord, an organ, and a choir. The choir sounds convincing, and I am happy. Besides that, nothing in my life has changed altogether. Kaila and I are taking a little break and are seeing what's out there, so we can decide if we are truly perfect for one another. I had a couple of one night stands with Brendan Hunt's little sister. Nah I'm just kidding Brendan Hunt. She's safe.
Hat and Tractor worked our little rear-ends off so we could finish our Christmas thingy. Which we didn't finish. It was originally supposed to be a little trailer for the Stewart Musical. We did two audio tracks. One was an announcement and one was "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas." We had a guest vocalist on the song, but other than that, entirely Hat and Bo Grumpus. I can't find anywhere online to put the files, so if you're interested, just ask, friend! Today I went to a Sneezer show. Jee golly it was neat. I like bands that do wonderful vocal harmonies. I guess that's why I like the Barenaked Ladies so gosh darn much! I should probably go to sleep now! It's waaaay past my bed time roflmaool!!!!! Sleep tight and don't let the bed-bugs bite!

December 12, 2004
SHAFT SERIOUSLY HAS NO CHANCE
The Site of Unspeakable Sexy hasn't been updated for a while. And I for one am very upset about this. Also, I found a type of tumor called Teratoma, in which the tumor can be around 40 pounds, sometimes has hair, eyes, or even teeth, and can usually outsmart you with its deep understanding of politics, socioeconomic patterns, and survival techniques. They can be extremely dangerous, and should you meet one, call Ghostbusters immediately.

I'll update about the show at Sam's later. You should come... It'll be a blood bath.

November 29, 2004
BLAZE IMSLAND-RINALDI
Once upon a setting sun, I thought a thought about my hon,
And couldn't help but know: I wouldn't see her anymore.
So as I knew there came a knock, no, not Levin's giant cock,
It was a giant beetle come, come to kill me I was sure.
"Holy crap," I shouted at it, "Please oh please oh please be four."
But it was five, it wasn't four.

The creature took me by surprise, I couldn't seem to find its eyes
For numbers lack features because they are so God-damned poor.
I couldn't help but cry my ween, and my ween then tried to cry my spleen
Cuz I was scared, scared of mag'cal mystery tour.
"If only I had one brave knight, he'd save my ass and we would soar,
"High above the ocean floor."

But then I saw a distant man, equipped with fourteen frying pans,
He waddled towards me grinning like a wild boar.
My heart skipped beats for I was saved, cuz at that time the number caved
Now Jesus rocked, rocking on his sweet guitooar.
"I'm not done yet," said Super Blaze, riding upon a Saigon whore,
"I'll moonwalk now a little more."

I never shall forget that day, when I met Blaze and he met may (me)
We danced and talked and journeyed to the grocery store.
He taught me more than you will know, though he just barked and said "Hello."
For Blaze was sweet; sweeter than a kitten's roar.
His good will I have not forgotten, his message touched me to the core,
Imsland-Rinaldi, peace not war.

Blaze is some sort of warrior.

November 24, 2004
HOLY THANKSGIVING BREAK!
Today was the beginning of something wonderful: a whole two days off from school! Can you say "hoo-ray?" Anyhoo(ray), umm, we wrote some ideas for the Stewart Musical, and basically, I don't think it's anything to get all excited about. In fact, just forget about it, so when it suddenly appears, you have no idea what's going on. I'm serious. Calm the hell down.
Today in school, we marched around while James held up a tape player and people were confused, but don't get your hopes up because frankly it was really cool.
After school, we all gathered round Eric Levine's humongous dingdong and walked out to the parking lot and drove to Islands. Mmmboy I love Islands like no other. After that, I left Pat and Dan and James and Palmer and hung out with the drama kids. I don't think they like me very much. They're really friggin weird. Like, I was just sitting on the seats at the mall, and they spin around on the table and have like hyperactive disorders. Oh well, whatever. As it turns out, we watched Home Alone 2. As it turns out, James and Dan and Pat and Eric and giant "Levine-ween" watched Home Alone 2. Weird.
Seeing as it is Thanksgiving afterall, I think a little bit of thanks is in order to that God of mine, so I made a list of things to be thankful for, each complete with a little link.

1. Running Races With Jesus.
2. Stewart's Symbol Approved by Government. (Image to come)
3. The World is a better place.
4. Culkin.
5. The best actor ever.
6. In Austin, deaf people have no ears.
7. AAAAH HOLY CRAP!!!!
8. I'm not quite sure what this is.
9. Nor this.
10. Last one I promise.
11. The other best actor ever.
12. Really good food.
13. 13 is an unlucky number.
14. Good health.
15. True love.
16. Family.

The end.

November 22, 2004
SPOONZ
Blaze is a big manly warrior. Today me and Dan saw Blaze in the hall, and he had a huge battle scar. He is clearly America's hottest topic.
Hat and Tractor is scheduled to do some hardcore recording over this Thanksgiving break, and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say THAT'S something to be thankful for. HTA will be jumping into action also. Look out!!
In other news, Ian got a gf. In other news, I am dead to Ian.
The thing I'm most happy about is that the Stewart Musical is going to be underway. We have no planned release date, and we plan to write the script tomorrow. I guess this all depends on whether or not I will drop out of high school to work on it. I guess there's always next summer. Dude the movie will rock though. Me and Jared will officially begin writing it tomorrow (we already have like the first 5 minutes done) now that we have worked up a whole bunch of ideas, and I think that Spoonz is going to be my favorite character. I hope to have a trailer out by winter break, but I can't promise anything. If anyone knows anything about how to make a website with like a simple URL, tell me. I haven't been on the internet in forever. It's kinda late now so I'm gonna hit the hay. See ya.

November 20, 2004
ESOTSM RULES
Today I go play outside. Mmmmmm outside. Today I go to Office Depot and Blockbuster. Mmmmm Blockbuster. Me get South Park Season 2. Mmmmmmm 2. The main highlight of today was I decided to start living my life as if I were a crayon. I mean, how would my life be different if I were a crayon? And which color? Cuz some places wouldn't let black crayons inside. And of course if I were a pink or purple crayon, all my friends would make fun of me. And what if I were a white crayon? Jeez. Those things are useless. Why would they even make a white crayon? Do they expect you to use it to color your picture? Okay FINE I didn't really think about the crayon thing till five seconds ago. I might think about doing it tomorrow though, so don't rule that out yet.
Tonight, I talked my family into renting Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and wesa all watched it. That movie is really really good, and it puts me in a happy mood for some reason. I've seen it probably like 48 times now, no joke, joke a little, no little, and it was good every time, no joke. This time, I decided to watch the bonus features on the disc. The conversation between Jim Carrey and the director was really funny. Jim Carrey plays like a depressed guy in the movie, but while working on the movie, it shows that he isn't really like that, and thank God because I almost cried. Criped. Crapped. Crepé. But my dad says Jim Carrey is taking some medicine in real life because he IS depressed. Booooo. Well, the bonus features were hilarious. After shooting one shot in the movie, they have this spoof reel where Jim, the director, and the crew had a car, sans everything but the wheel and motor, with a bed on top, and Jim was racing it around the streets and brought it by a gas station and jumped on top and sang an Elvis song he made up on the spot about something ridiculous. Parsley...something. It was pretty good.
Well yeah that movie is SOO good. I can't believe they did so many things without special effects. Like when Jim Carrey is a little kid, they reconstructed a kitchen but so it expands as it gets farther away, so it looks normal, but the farther away you get, you look smaller and smaller than the set. And whenever a character disappeared, it was like a trap door, and ridiculous things happened. It was wacky. And in one bonus feature, when Jim is starting to get to know Kate, he just grabs the tape recorder and throws it and it breaks. Yeah nevermind.
I only did my math homework, so fun stuff tomorrow about doing all that homework and whatnot. I think I'm gonna take up some form of dance guys. Seriously. Dancing is my passion. Sometimes I can't help it.

November 11, 2004
NOVEMBER IS UPON US
School is oh so fun. I am learning oodles, and I cannot wait for my exams. In toto, education is a solid concept and I for one cannot grasp why some would cheat themselves from this beautiful opportunity by STAYING HOME TO PLAY HALO 2 WHICH JUST CAME OUT ON TUESDAY AND IS COMPLETELY KICKING THE WORLD'S BUTT!! However I don't play the game, so I am only going by what I heard. I also heard that Stewart kills people in the game and he is very good at it. Today was a day off from school, and I seriously had a good day good. I didn't do anything all morning, but then later on in the day tipis I got a call from Gracy Grace and Jar-Bear and decided to join them even though Toshi was there. After showing up, it was obvious that Toshi and I had to be on the same team to play Cranium so we were and we completely kicked Jared and Grayson in the nuts and won Cranium. Haha! However, I do not condone the fact that she exists. Later on, I left the Grayson's house and went to hang out with my buds J2, Kenna, Erin, and Marie. I think Erin and Marie, or maybe just Erin, doesn't understand that I'm kidding about everything, so she was kinda like "what??? you think my ears are cool?" and then she exploded. But luckily, we went to Nordstrom's Boobs or something and we got these really cool pillows that are cool but they are cool. They are also yellow. Oh well, yellow's alright. Some say geniuses pick green yellow. That was pretty fun. Jared got all the ladies cuz of his fine tuned massage skills. He's seriously like a babe magnet but magnets also pick up like weird pieces of crap if you rub 'em around in sand and whatnot. So he's not like sparkly clean sometimes. Where was I going...
Oh yeah! Tomorrow I get to see the play and that's going to completely rock I hopes. I have to write a review on that for La Vista also. We'll see how that turns out. Well, my gf Kaila is being a slut so I have to go. Well, she's not really. In fact, I don't think I've seen her for a couple weeks. But still...you know.

October 31, 2004
HALLOWEEN
Today, on Halloween, the best day ever, I am terribly sick. I don't know where I am. Bleh.
Last night, me and Dan and Palmer went to Charlie's and built a tent in his front yard. Charlie didn't know about the tent. Humor = unexpected. Ryan helped a little and so did Olivia and her lesbian friend Chelsea. Then we went to Burger King. Everyone went to Max's except for me after that, and I was starting to get sick. Oh well, hopefully I'll still be well enough to see the Falconers and even go trick or treating. Bllaaaaaah school. Anyways, I hate to be serious but here it goes.
On Friday night, someone in my grade at school died, supposedly from heroine overdose, and that just is really sad and sucks a lot. Last night they had a vigil at the beach for him I heard, and people are really sad. My condolences to his friends and family.

October 29, 2004
AAAAAAAAAH WEEKEND
Well, here I am on a Friday night. All dressed up and nowhere to go. I have no costume but I am working on that now. Anyhoo, today Mr. Cook read the letter I wrote with Calvin in front of the class, it was Mr. Westerburg's birthday, La Vista came out without my Ben Folds article, I did well on my Bio quiz, and Jared got in a huge car crash. He can't seem to transfer pictures from his phone to the computer, so just ask him if you wanna see. He didn't actually hit another car or hurt himself, but he ran over a fire hydrant and burst it and he knocked down a stop sign. The best part is that it was across the street from Stewart's house, and Stewart and his...aunt??...came out and took pictures of Jared's accident. I'm so jealous.
Well, in order to fix one of the mistakes, I will hereby link to how my Ben Folds article may have looked in La Vista, and let's all take a second to cry because it wasn't in the paper. Boo hoo.
I think that's basically everything that's happening for now. Halloween is in a few days. I'm not even ready for it. Sorry for the suckiness of this one. I don't have any lives.

October 24, 2004
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
MrWombatterson (9:58:47 PM): What do rednecks do on Halloween?
Pump-kin!
MrWombatterson (9:59:00 PM): i dont get it that much, i think it means have sex with relatives

October 22, 2004
BEST DAY OF MY LIFE (NOT EXAGGERATION)
Today a lot of good things happened. First of all, all my classes were easy. Second of all I got to miss AP Bio which is really boring sometimes. But then the day started getting really good, eventually coming to a climax at midnight.
It started out with me leaving school early to go take my driver's test. Obviously, there was pressure. The Russians would kill me if I didn't do well, and the Spanish would break their alliance with the French if I passed and all the territory frest of the Lake Titicaca would be ceded to Australia, which occasionally has a really cool accent. Anyways, the point is, if I fail, I'm screwed cuz my permit expires 10/23/04 (see date at top). So I go and I get a really old lady who was kinda like a grandma but less hot but she definitely woulda made me cookies if I asked. Anyways, we drove around and saw a bat mobile and had some fun times talking about the Wilderness Warrior and whether or not I should drive it on the Audobon and then I got 14 errors and passed. Now don't be like OMG 14?!?! ROFL YOU SUCK cuz I will kick your @$$. I don't suck. She decided that my already exaggerated left and right lookings before a turn could have been exaggerated a hells of a lot more. But I still passed anyway. And right now I'm sipping a gorgeous strawberry shake. But back to the story.
So, there I am with a license, and now I'm about to go see my hero: Ben Folds. I go to see Ben Folds. For more details about the show, see the article in La Vista's entertainment section coming out this Friday. I think I'm gonna have 3 articles or more in that paper. I can't waits.
Okay, so the show starts and we're standing there waiting for like an hour cuz Ben needs to hug all the Spongebob pillows in his dressing room and eat a pizza with rare fish on it and go hunting for wildebeasties. While me and Carly are standing there waiting for the show to start, these really funny looking girls with alcohol walk up in front of us and say something inaudible and laugh. I heard a hint of (Robert Sagggyface) and I shouted "OMG Bob Saget's here?!?!" and they were like "YEah!"!"! but I didn't believe them for sure because they were drunk and nobody even knows who Bob Saget is (or so I thought). Anyway, they told me where he was, and looked back and pointed to people they thought were him. A lot. I wasn't sure if it was true, so I just watched the show and tried to feel Saget's presence in my soul deep inside. At the end of the show, after some really kickass show don't gimme wrong, but I looked a little to my right, and, about twenty feet away, I spied the Sagetmeister with his daughter/wife/wtf and I cried my ween. I was so happy that he was there that I splooged. I was so happy that Bob Saget even existed you have no idea.
I know this might seem like something I made up, but I'm seriously not this time. Bob Saget was actually at the concert, and it was amazing. Bob likes Ben Folds. I knew my life was headed in the right direction after all. Oh my God I feel so good I'm gonna go cry. Bye!

October 20, 2004
THE IFFY TRAMPOLINE TENT IN EVER SLAPPY
This weekend just so happens to gonna be rockin' - pants. It's going to be nonstop good stuff and very little school as far as the I can C. But, we'll get to that later of course. I haven't updated for a while, and I'm sure some really really cool stuff happened a while ago, but not that important cuz I don't remember it I guess. Mongoose. Sorry. Goatsorry. Anyway, last weekend was Jared M's dance party, and it rocked really hard cuz I danced and there was a strobe light and there was ROSE FALCON and HAT AND TRACTOR and LINDSAY LOHAN!!!! It rocked really really hard. Jared filmed a lot of it, so if you wanna see it, ask him. If want to see it but don't know him, let alone me, you shouldn't wanna see it and you should go click on the Rose Falcon link again.
Me and Jared Z. spent the daisy shopping fo' shaith. We took the PSAT that morning, just so we can get NATIONAL SCHOLARSHIPS HELL YEAH SWEET and then we went shopping. We first went to In-n-out where me and my girlfriend got into a fight, then we went to Best Buy and found nothing (except for a life size totem pole made of real totes) and then we went to Circuit City and found nothing (except for a life size election poll made out of real totes) and then we finally went to Payless and bought Jared shoes. NO! I'm totally kidding.
We went to Toys r usbear and we walked in and the giraffe was like "SOLVE THIS CRIME!!" and we were like "WHERE'S THE EVIDENCE??" and the giraffe cut off his own head with a Mongoose Bike seat. I swear to God. Well, I swear that there was a mongoose bike seat in toys r us. The other stuff depends on who is telling the story I guess. Well, we got J1 a Halloween Costume that is definitely better than any other ones out there, and then we almost bought a $100 piano for J2. It was pretty wild lemme tell you. But we didn't get him the piano. His mom said "he would never use it and it would be a waste of money." So obviously she handed us an E.T. doll that she knew J2 would often use and enjoy more than an instrument. It all worked out in the end.
I don't really know what to say about the dance party. It rocked really hard. We even got Eric Levine to come which was the highlight of my life. He has such a big ween that I think he freaked with it. Anyways, Stewart didn't come but that's okay I guess. I woulda been jealous when all the babes climbed on him instead of J2. Well, I think that just about covers it.
Oh yeah, I saw Team America: World Police on Friday and it rocked so good it was funny I thought it was nice.
Elliott Smith's new CD came out yesterday. It's really good, but it's quieter than I thought. You don't care.
Yesterday we won our snap debate in AP US. I'm so happy. I thought it was nice. Today I aced a math test and opposite of aced an AP US test. School is really bad. Good thing this weekend is going to be sooooooo good. SoOoOoOoO good if you know what I mean. Yeaaaaaah you do.
This weekend I get to go see BEEEEEN FOOOOOOLDS on Friday night with Carly. I get to go see MAAAAARS VOOOOLTA AND THE PIIIIIIIXIES on Saturday night. On Sunday night, I almost got to sleep over at Kaila's, but I guess not. I sorta think her grandma might be really h0tt, but there's no way to predict. Anyways, that's just a little dose to bring you up to speed and to make sure I don't forget anything. Oh, and I get my license this Friday. And Mean Girls rocks. And Parent Trap does too.

October 4, 2004
HISTORY SUCKS BUT IT ROCKS A LOT TOO
DavidBeckham13 (9:51:03 PM): why did the french plant trees along the streets of paris?
EMeersand (9:51:27 PM): cuz they wanted to make it look nice
DavidBeckham13 (9:51:33 PM): no
DavidBeckham13 (9:51:39 PM): because the germans like to march in the shade
DavidBeckham13 (9:51:46 PM): A HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EMeersand (9:51:47 PM): wtf
DavidBeckham13 (9:51:56 PM): remember wwII?
EMeersand (9:51:58 PM): thats not funny at all

September 26, 2004
I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME...
Wow, AP US is giving me the crap-shaith amounts of homework. I have so much to do, I shouldn't be on the computer. But I'm not on it for no reason - check this out homebrah. This morning, I made a toaster strudel and I burnt it. Then I ate it, but I was still hungry. So I made another one and wrapped it in plastic. That one was good so I didn't make anymore.

September 22, 2004
DUDE
The first girl whom I personally see wearing a Bryce Thong will win $50 from me. I swear. This needs to catch on.

September 5, 2004
AWESOMEST DAY EVER FOREVER EVER
Today started off like any other ordinary day. I woke up, ate some cerealsy, palsy, and then a giant basket of fruit was delivered in the shape of a flower arrangement. I played some piano and learned the rest of Für Elise. The string which is two G's below middle C is broken. Thanks to me. Interestingly enough, it's the same string that I broke last time. "We're gonna put a blocker on it this time so it won't break again. It may sound kind of strange at first, but at least your string will be safe." I hope they do that when they fix it this time again.
Anyways, Jared came over at 1:30ish, and Mike Sutherland came and picked us up at 2. We planned to record some vocals and mix today, but all we got to do was mix. But don't get me wrong, today rocked. With a W. Wrocked. As soon as we got into the studio, it rocked. Studios look so nice. They are perfect and smell clean (except for the occasional cigarette smell) and are just plain awesome. I can barely think of any other job that has such nice surroundings. Everything is awesome.
There is a T.V. on top of the mixer, each studio has it's own lounge type thing with another T.V., there is a projecter with a DVD player (which we can't use because we aren't paying customers, but HEY oh well). There are also many big cool producer people, like the guy who mixes Christina Aguilera songs 365 days a year all day long forever. I feel bad for him, but apparently he gets paid nicely. I guess he doesn't enjoy it that often, but...I don't know where I'm going with that. Sucks for him.
Mike Sutherland is seriously the nicest guy ever and he's awesome. I never understood how bands can always say "Oh my God, our producer rocks and he's so cool and he's what made our songs good" but now I understand. Today, from 2 p.m. to 12 p.m., all he did was focused on ONE of our songs. That rocks pretty hard. You can tell that song is gonna rock. Just a little hinty: it's the opening song. So it'll rock. Rocky rock. Bock chewbacca.
I found the website for this bad boy. We visited Enterprise Studios in Burbank, and if you care to check it out, we were in Studio B. On the site, just click on the Studio B on the right. It shows you a picture of where we were. Where the magic happens. Or basically, where we played n for eight hours.
We got a complete tour of all the different studios, and even saw the place where all the hits are cranked out. Like the Men in Black soundtrack, some other crappy things that went Platinum, and I don't even remember what else. There was a storage room with a tiny little moped type thing too.
Alas, I remember it like it was yesterday when good old Dave and Mike walked into the studio and announced that Will Smith was at the studio RIGHT THEN!!! We were so excited. Jared started crying and I asked if I could ride on Will Smith's shoulders. I even met Will Smith!* He's really only around 3 feet tall.* Movies are bullcrap.* I didn't even get to ride on his shoulders though.
There's no way that tomorrow can compare to such a day, but I know that Monday will be fun, because Pat is taking me to Knott's Berry Farm! Where the magic is. I wish it was Six Flags, but I guess Patty knows best. But anyways, I'll leave you with this thought about my piano: My g-string is broken.

*I didn't meet him really.
*He's not really a midget.
*It's true.

August 31, 2004
TOTALLY RACING RAFER-STOMPY
Well, Hat and Tractor began the as of yet untitled spooky song today in recording. All I can say is it rocks really really hard and you will like it, even if you don't like anything...including Sagets. I'm also halfway done with my Rambler entry, and so far, I have only offended one person. It'll be pretty funny. I'll post a copy of my pages later so everyone on the internet can enjoy them no matter what race or sex they are.
Nextly, Glenn, that "other guy" in Hours till Awesome is as of now renovating the site and although nothing has changed yet, it will rock hard soon. School is starting really really soon and I'm crying tears of green. Here are some pictures that I deem funny.
If you will kindly remember way back when this summer, Ian's family brought me with them to Bruin Woods, the UCLA camp. We were complete idiots the entire time. Here is how we dressed to perform the last show of the week, and how we went to the dance. Two complete retards, who might just be kinda h0tt. We got those clothes at the Thrift Shoppe in the neighboring village. Simple village folk rock. The bear was my date to the dance. Girls got jealous. jay kay they were scared of me.
This next picture is sort of an inside joke between those who have been to my house before. I won't explain it to you. Either you get it, or you don't.
This final picture is an oldie but goodie that I'm bringing out to the public, because it has clearly sat on J2's computer for waaaaaay too long. Finally, now you can all enjoy it. Let's just say, it's funny because it's true.
Unfortunately, I think that's all the stuff I have for you here today. Sorry this post was boring/not funny/not interesting/boring. Go kewl yourself. :-)

August 28, 2004
SUMMER HOGWASH
Well, howdy ho lidy dies. For a lot of this week, Hat and Tractor is recording their CD with Michael Ernest Sutherland at his home studio. It is sounding very good so far, I think you will be impressed. Jar-jar. We can only record five songs, and if we even think about recording a sixth song, Mike Sutherland will build a 30 foot diving board out of each of our asses and dive off with the worst intentions. Hehe...
I have to finish off my entries for "The Rambler" and this is proving to be tough. I also have to read two of my summer reading books, a 500 page SAT book, and even Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States. Are you sad?
Well, as you may or not be able to tell, my profile is completely frog-legged gook trip rush beads hoffa. I mean, changed. I used to log onto my name, type in a funny password, come in here, change some stuff in an HTML window (geek stuff) and then every once in a while, I could see who read this piece of s*#@.
The problem is that now, these things don't work. Apparently, when competing with the ever-popular livejournal, infiniteprofiles had to change their interface. So now, I had to delete a lot of my older entries, learn how to make it look the same without HTML, and I can no longer see who most recently viewed this, or when they did. I don't know why they changed that. That was my favorite part. So, since I have a giant list of ridiculous stuff on my counter page, here is all the info you would ever need.

GIANT LIST OF POPULATION
1) davidbeckham13 (109)
2) thepenguinfish (84)
3) somealians (83)
4) justeuphoria (80)
5) xhcxaznx (67)
6) ddeennnnyy (63)
7) xnikolaikx (56)
8) zazzyzulu (55)
9) xcosbyxsweaterx (55)
10) bassist4rai (43)
11) tahoe718 (42)
12) anendtoyouandme (41)

That's pretty much the top people who read this baby. Unfortunately, some of those people can't seem to hold onto their own screen names for too long, and have also viewed this thing many other times under alternate aliases.

TOTALS

Toshi - 110 views
Jedd - 106 views

Toshi narrowly beat out Ian in the end there. Haha, what a loser.
And finally, the moment you've all been waiting for, we've been viewed 1367 times since the last reset. Wow. Amazing. I used to think I was the only one who had no life whatsoever, but now I know I am not alone. Anyways, my new years resolution is to hang out with Jedd more, so he won't have to read my profile so much. Later buddy.

August 23, 2004
I HAVE A FANCLUB
What the heck is going on?? In other news, I register tomorrow. But for now, I'm out of here.

August 19, 2004
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeh what the hell?
Wow. These days have sucked and gone by like a dream. I've been completely loaded on caffeine/soda all week, laughing at everything, sucking at music, and getting way too little sleep. I should probably try to quit caffeine soon, or else I'm screwed like my parents. In other news: Toshi quit and got caught, which is both hilarious and terrible, but mostly hilarious because it was a bad decision anyway. In other news, I was at Barnes n Noble with Jared tonight expecting to buy the Beatles White Album, when Jared says "Why don't you just borrow it from Pat?" That would be the highlight of the story except that Jared's mom called and was like "robble robble robble" because I wasn't on the phone so I couldn't hear her.
      But what she actually said was that their neighbors won tickets to Van Halen but they couldn't go, so Jared and I got to his house, and went to see Van Halen and sit in super special box seats!!!! Well, journalism has almost come to a close, and I'm sure I'll have more to write on it tomorrow after I get back. Except I'll be hanging with my homey James of course!!!

August 16, 2004
newspapers2
NOTE TO SELF: La Vista Editorial power may not be worth this journalistic hell I've encountered. I walked in today not knowing what to expect, but I encountered a classroom full of idiots who all have been trained no doubt from the crib to hate Costa, and none of them are hot or interesting, and worst of all, none of them are hot. Or interesting. Our teacher is self-centered, and although she may know journalism front and back, she isn't teaching it in any way that shows our understanding. She talks and talks, not reacting any differently than she might if we were all asleep or even not there, and this is retarded. Learning journalism is much like learning to square dance; you aren't going to be able to do it well by watching someone talk about it. This goes for other types of dancing too. Sans pole-dancing of course.

August 14, 2004
I AM JACK'S PROFILE
     I recently discovered something very depressing. The recent entries tend to go back multiple days. They just reference 5 days ago like it was the very same day. I have been getting so slow at updating, that at the rate I'm going, I'll never be living in the now. So my new motto is going to be, "Screw what happened since what I last talked about." Haha, just kidding. I'm gonna talk about Hawaii for a little bit now.
     In Hawaii, I took some pictures that I never bothered to put up. This entry shall be called the "Livejournal Ho" entry, because it will mostly be pictures. At least none of the pictures are of me, so I am not such an LJ ho. The first picture really shows how a rainbow and a blue sky can...rock...or something. I don't know. It sounded like a good idea at the time. You're right...it is kinda boring. The thing that bugged me most about being in Hawaii was that the sunset was considered as rare and awe inspiring as a kid with no legs suddenly being able to run faster than any man in the world. People would stop whatever they were doing, and stare at the sun as it went down. It's not like it happened everyday! Oh wait, yes it does. It happens every day, and it doesn't change. I don't remember at all why I took the next picture, so don't ask me. Just look at the blue water. It's blue... hmmm...blue.
     Since I am five years old, when Jared slept over, we built a fort. Since I am an idiot, I decided to take a picture of it, since it's probably the last fort I'll ever build. I hope you all enjoyed these little flash backs. But seriously, from then till today, I'm gonna just forget everything that happened, because I don't care to write about it. I bet it was boring.
     Today was...drumroll please...my birthday party. Woo hoo! w00t! Party on! Wow. 16. However, my real birthday is on July 20. One might say that I suck at planning parties. This clearly reflects the fact that I haven't even signed up to take my driver's test yet. Funny story is, I got a car. But more on that later... Today I had to go to Vons and get my cake and chips and brownie bites and stuff and we bought it all and I read ghost stories while listening to the Polyphonic Spree. My mom doesn't like the Polyphonic Spree. She didn't like Fight Club when we watched it tonight either. Too bad...
     Anyhoo, people showed up to party, and party we did. Sort of. Apparently I didn't tell enough of them that this was going to be a pool party/capture the flag party. Some people knew about swimming, some knew about CTF, but it took a lot of smooth talking and bribing to get people to do both. That's why we had Pat come. Of course. We played, we swam, we ate, and stuff happened. Eventually, I opened gifts, and I will of course be eternally grateful for all the gifts. Among the strangest/coolest ones, I received a
melodica from Jared McCammon, I received an AT&T Relay Call from Greg in which the operator sang "Happy Birthday dear Brycey" to me, and the most kick@$$ thing of all was definitely the Wilderness Warrior. Last night, Sam and Max told me they had the greatest gift ever for me and it was going to blow me away and be incredibly cool. I didn't believe them. But I should have.
     They probably didn't really believe it either, because they didn't start till this morning. But it was still the most awesome thing ever. They completely built a bad@$$ car from scratch, and this beast even had a Hula Dancer on the dash, steering wheel made of an old garden hose and duct tape, rear view and side view mirrors, built-in washing machine, an air freshener, and a...GET THIS...WORKING RADIO!!! It had 8 wheel drive (2 skateboards) and I even rode it down the parking lot hill. We didn't get a video of it, but I drove by Dan's house to impress him. It rocked.
     Oh, and seriously don't underestimate the relay service. Just type in anyone's phone number you want to call. They will tell them, "Hello this is AT&T and we have a message for you." Then an announcer, usually a black man (according to Max), will read the person whatever you type. Even naughty language. If you use it too often, they will get upset and not let you. But until then, have a great time. It rocks. Have you ever wanted to pick up the phone and hear someone shout "Satyr love in the back of a f@#*ing pick up truck"? Of course you have. You can even tell them to shout things, use emotion, and do whatever. Not sure why AT&T did this, but it rocks.
     So, after the party, I realized that many people had used my computer. I checked Internet Explorer's history, and I found some pretty ridiculous shiz. The most surprising had to be that someone had found about 10-15 pictures of people with really bad acne. Do not click that link unless you have a strong stomach. The  only other surprising thing was that someone had found some funny Hat and Tractor related paraphernalia (Hat Trick Tractor!!).
     Also, when I was getting gifts together to write thank yous, which I get to do tomorrow (I can't friggin' wait! :-) !!!) I had to count Noah's change. Noah drew me a card featuring an oldy but goody cartoon we used to have. It is called Mr. Rip Tide and features...well, it's self explanitory. Rip tides kill little kids and lifeguards laugh at the little kids because they can't swim. It's brutal, but ain't it the truth? He also gave me $13 in bills, and some odd amount of change. 4 quarters, 6 dimes, 7 nickels, 28 pennies, and 50 Italian Lire; I kid you not. Without the Lire, the total cost of the change is $2.23. So I scoured the internet trying to find a conversion factor for the lire. It didn't help that they don't use the lire anymore. But eventually, I think, I found it. Now the total amount of money that Noah gave me comes to $15.2303191187179473937002587449064. He's lucky he gave me a Boxcar Racer sticker. I might have killed him.
     Haha, Tim got me a Fat Albert tape.
     After the party, later tonight, I realized all I'd really had to eat today was a slice of pizza (besides chips soda and other junk) and since I'm allergic to tomatoes, I figured that my body wouldn't really care for pizza anyhow. I convinced my dad to take me to Jack n the Box, and when we pulled up, I recognized the car in front of us. There were two people with poofy hair in the car, and I was pretty sure it was Josh and Max, but if they were two Spanish women, I wouldn't have been surprised. But I saw a falling off sticker that says "ome A", and after thinking about it, that can only mean Dr. Home Alone. So I rolled down my window, and shouted "JOSH!!!!" cuz Max was busy paying the people. So Josh rolls down his window, looks out, gives me the meanest glare in the world, and says "WHAT??" Then he puts his head back in the car, and Max and him both look at me for a while. Eventually, they drive off screaming like Tarzan. Perhaps I hallucinated all of that though.
     Okay, well I can barely concentrate anymore, but I need to go to bed now, so I can have fun tomorrow. Goodnight, and wish me a happy birthday. Laaaate.

August 13, 2004
SUPER D
"well, we mixed super d two months ago and the cover is still hanging around a printing press somewhere. the problem seems to be that they can't print black for some reason; it turns out blue. i shit you not...thanks to smog design for helping us get it right, and the label for flying the guy down to bumfuck north carolina to try and explain to these people what black is..." - Ben Folds
------------------------------
Okay, just so I go to bed on time, I am limiting myself to writing until this CD finishes. I will now recap everything that happened ever. Holy crap!
       Okay...where'd I leave off? Okay, after we watched Wayne's World, Grayson needed gas. Not sure why, he was just sitting there, and his car was out front not saying anything. But then he was just like "I need gas." So we all went and since he needed gas we helped him get it. As tokens of our companionship and good nature, he bought us candy and pop. I had Tropical Skittles. Mmmmm...well, we hung out here and got really really bored. Grayson grew a beard, J1 skeeted 87 times, and J2 grew a beard made of skeet. I ate 3 hot dogs. But relax homey, they were mini hot dogs, and there was no soda in the lunchable. When we all realized that we were really really bored, we went to Pat's. J1 almost skated, but he didn't. I turned.
      What??
      While we were at Pat's, we picked out 3 movies. All of which you may or may not need to remember for the pop quiz featurette later. The movies were (in order of viscosity): An Evening with Kevin Smith, Snatch, and I'm Gonna Get You Sucka. The three movies need no explanation. As soon as Pat declined our invitation to go with us, a little piece of our hearts wilted away. But in Jay Z's heart, I'm not quite sure what happened. He probably got a little visit from the wacky fairy, and decided to go home. So me and Grayson went to J2's with him, and we watched the second disc of An Evening With Kevin Smith. Speaking of that, I need to return it to Pat. Theewiouthly. I usually hate stand-up, and I guess this wasn't even stand-up anyway, it was like a semi-prepared Q&A session at Kent University. It was hilarious though. Grayson left though, and I was too lazy to leave, so I just slept at J2's. This was the night in which we wrote that ridiculous August 9th story. There is more of it. But Jared was just like "I'm bored, what should we do?" "Why, let's Lindy-hop!" I responded. Jared didn't want to Lindy-hop though. So I suggested doing a tag team story writing session. I let him start, and while he worked, I found the book Raven by Gerald McDermott. I decided since I hadn't done anything challenging to my brain all summer (besides putting it face to face with Ben Gay and hoping it wouldn't explode), I would try to memorize the book. That is as far as I got though. But that is straight from memory. I used no outside aid, and I am a genius. Haha, not really. I was just kidding. I am not really a genius. But it is from memory. I'm a genius.
       So after Jared finished his first part, I returned to the room and realized that I was in deep doo-doo. Jared's story made less sense than the story you already see. I'm gonna publish it eventually, in its entirety, but I have to convince Jared to help me continue writing. Apparently he wasn't getting his groove on when he wrote. So he was in trouble. Luckily, I managed to salvage part of his story, and sort of give it a plot. Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. Sort of. Haha, I'm through now.
       I added more to it after I posted the aforementioned part, including his arrest, and stuff. But nobody cares, because you haven't yet fallen in love with the character. Anyways, after that, I think we went to sleep. It was pretty durnedtootin late. In the morning, we woke up and planned to go to the beach. Still not sure how we got there. I think we got his dad to take us to my house. So we went to my house, probably hung out here for a little while twiddling our thumbs and farsickling the nevaltip, and continued our evident journey to the beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeach. F4 We were going to sleep at the beach to make up for the lack of sleep we accidentally experienced, but then Dennis dug his way out of the sand right where we set up, ate our Sherpa whole, and didn't even care. What a bad@$$... then other people showed up, and there was no hope of sleeping. When in Rome, as I always say. We left.
       At my house, we learned some Pokémon songs on keyboard/guitar for Hat and Tractor (which is hopefully recording pretty darned soon). Then...Jared Zitron called and invited us to his house. I can't exactly remember why, but it was probably so we could 4 way Kaila eat his parents burn his house green eggs and ham have a good time and be nice and respectful. We kicked off the evening by not really doing anything at all. I think. Lemme try to remember. We hung out a great deal in Jared's room. We played with his cats, tried to break his bed, and played guitar. After a while, we were hungry, and we didn't want to wait for his parents to return, so we walked somewhere. Haha. Why am I laughing. Well, we ate there. Oh, I remember why I was laughing. That day, before Jared picked us up, his family saw Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. We were talking about the scene when he gets an erection, and then she asked, "Wait, Jared, I don't get that part...what was that??" And he was just like "Didn't you take FAMILY LIFE YET???" and then she was like "yeah, but we didn't learn that!!!" So he says, "Okay, Kaila, when a man and a woman love each other, his thing goes into her thing." And she was like "yeah...I know" and he was like "Blood goes into the penis and it gets hard." She said "oh..." and he was like "No problem -  it wasn't awkward or anything. I love talking about this with you." and then he gave her a death stare. Haha. That was hilarious. Then we went to the 711 nearby to pick up some dessert. Right as we were buying, a car pulled up containing Ali, Katie, Clark, and various other people. They said hi, and we ran like hell. Just kidding. We said hi back.
      On the way back to Jared's, we decided to make a movie. I said I wouldn't do any more than three nude scenes, and one of them had to at least be tasteful. Kaila was like "ummm, what is that?" and we explained to her that a nude scene is when a person gets naked in a movie. She was like "you guys don't really do that, do you?" and Jared M. said "whenever we make a movie at Grayson's, sometimes we all do them. But only when his dad leaves." Then the other Jared said, "Really? I don't only do it when his dad leaves. Sometimes his dad'll pay us," somehow we managed not to laugh about it, and since Kaila's hormones haven't kicked in just yet, she was terrified rather than intrigued. Crazy 11 year olds. I can't believe she doesn't tell her parents about us and put us out of our misery.
       Then we watched Fight Club. We didn't manage to get all the way through it because of ADD though, so we just played a lot of ninja, read about the Mars Volta, and played guitar. Kaila couldn't watch Fight Club with us, so she had to go to bed. Somehow, I got into her PJ's, gave her a hug, and kissed her goodnight. All in a different order however. The sad part was that her PJ's fit me. And she didn't kiss me goodnight. Snoogans.
       Sometime around then, we decided we were going to pull an allnighter even if it killed us. I don't think any of us had any trouble getting through the night. We had played some Triv, we had drunk lots and lots of soda (with caffeine and plenty of sugar - booger!) and we were pumped up. A lot of the time we just were stupid and did things to pass the time. We never did make a movie, but Kaila didn't go to bed until really late, so we got to play tricks on her and stuff. Like we knew she was about to walk in, so Jared signaled to me to say something about a nude scene, and it just got more awkward after that. I think she likes me likes me.

POP QUIZ
1) Two trains are travelling east, one from Chicago, one from Los Angeles, if ________.
2) 3 people have the same name. What do you _____?
3) Bob Saget?
4) It's really late, I am sleepy.
5) This is me sleeping
6) Which?

So the CD is almost over. I'm gonna hurry up.
       In the late night/early morning, we turned on the telly and watched some game show networks, and we even played some game that was fun that I can't remember it's name. I think it started with an "n". Whoa. Don't worry homey, it wasn't n, it was something else. Board game. We had to be reminded to be quiet a million times because Jared and I suck at being quiet.
      I'm afraid that my trippiness during the evening was not documented, so I cannot explain it. In the morning, the first thing I remember is watching "Nightmare Before Christmas" at like 5:30. It was really good. Then....oh my God.... I forget what the show was...I believe it had the word "ball" in it, and it was a kid's show. It killed so many babies. It was like on drugs x10 and it hypnotized everyone a million times. Little kids are gonna grow up all messed up. That reminds me of a show I saw at Grayson's yesterday that was a game show, but it spoke a mix of asian, English, and Spanish. I say "asian" because I have no friggin clue. Channel 18. Check it out sometimes.
       After Kaila woke up, we watched Goldmember for lack of any better things to do, and the Jareds started getting really tired. I don't think I was ever really tired, so I just watched the movie without worrying about sleeping. I told them to go on a run around the block, and they did. I don't think it worked. When they resumed the movie, they were even tireder. That's no word of mine. We barely made it to the part where Jared's dad could take us to my house, and when he did, we got Taco Bell and went to the beach. I dressed quite emo, and eating taco bell dressed like an emochild is a very emo thing to do. Shut up Bryce.
      Holy crap the CD is ending.
      Better hurry.
      AAAAh.
      So we went to the beach, and we slept. It was overcast, and we didn't sleep too long at all. After sleeping, we came back here, and hung out until later that night. I don't exactly remember anything else, plus the CD is ending. Clearly nobody is still reading this, so it doesn't matter. Later!